This article is adapted from Ted's podcast episode 360: Life on the Upbeat: A Conversation with Dr. Mathew Arau (Leadership)

Leadership That Starts from Within

I meet a lot of leaders in my work. People who carry impressive titles, manage large teams, drive organizational change. But every once in a while, I meet someone who stops me in my tracks, someone whose story reminds me why I do what I do. Matthew Arau is one of those people.

When I sat down with Matthew for the Smart Thinking Podcast, I expected a great conversation. What I didn't expect was to discover a kindred spirit, another buffalo willing to charge headfirst into storms, someone who lives with such pure optimism that it's almost infectious. By the time we finished talking, I had three pages of notes and one burning thought: everyone needs to hear this story.

The Question That Changes Everything

Picture this. You're a brand-new high school band director in Loveland, Colorado. The program you've inherited looks great on paper. Trophy cases are full. The band wins competitions. But something is deeply wrong. The culture is toxic. Seniors versus the new director. Trumpets versus flutes. Section leaders talking down to younger students. Division everywhere you look.

Most new leaders would hunker down, assert control, try to power through it. Not Matthew.

Instead, something remarkable happened. Two trombone players, Brad and Greg, knocked on his office door. "Mr. Arau," they said, "we're sick and tired of how the seniors are acting. We believe in you. We believe in this program. But we've got a lot of room to grow."

And then they asked the question that would change everything.

"How can we help?"

Think about that for a moment. How many times do we wait for someone else to fix the culture? How many times do we complain about leadership without stepping up ourselves? These two students didn't wait. They didn't point fingers. They asked how they could contribute.

Matthew's response was equally powerful. He didn't shut them down or tell them to let the adults handle it. Instead, he said, "If there are other students who feel the same way, let's have a meeting. Let's talk about what kind of band we want to create."

Two days later, they gathered in a circle. Students who were tired of the toxic culture. Students who wanted something better. And together, they started to define what leadership actually means.

Redefining Leadership from the Ground Up

Here's where the story gets really good. These students had only ever seen one kind of leadership: the best player gets to tell everyone else what to do. Loud. Commanding. Sometimes demeaning. That was the model. That's what had been modeled for them.

But Matthew introduced them to something radically different: servant leadership.

One student, Mindy, asked a question that would become foundational: "What would it look like if every single person in the band was a leader?"

Stop and think about that. Not just section leaders. Not just the drum major. Every. Single. Person.

They wrestled with it. They debated it. And together, they arrived at a definition that still gives me chills: Leadership is inspiring and encouraging others to achieve their full potential.

Read that again. Leadership isn't about having the loudest voice or the best skills. It's not about control. It's about believing in people's potential, sometimes before they even see it themselves. It's about showing up, doing your best, and lifting others along the way.

And here's the beautiful thing. They didn't stop at a definition. They put it into action. They started meeting every week, calling it the Leadership Symposium. They studied Stephen Covey's Seven Habits. John Wooden's Pyramid of Success. John Maxwell's 21 Laws of Leadership. They debated ideas online before Facebook even existed. They built a culture collaboratively, from the ground up.

The result? Everything lifted. Performance soared. Community connection deepened. Fundraising exploded. But more importantly, they developed character and citizenship alongside musical excellence.

And when Matthew left the school seven years later, do you know what happened? The program continued. The Leadership Symposium still runs today, more than a decade after he moved on. Because it was never about him. It was about creating something that would outlast him.

That's the Law of Legacy in action.

From Downbeat to Upbeat

Matthew's musical background gives him a unique lens on leadership. As both a classical and jazz saxophonist who performed with legends like Dizzy Gillespie and members of the Duke Ellington Orchestra, he understands something profound about preparation and presence.

He taught me about the upbeat. In music, when a conductor stands before an orchestra, there's a moment of silence. The conductor breathes in, lifts their hands. That's the upbeat. In that space, before any sound is made, the conductor has already heard what they want to create. They've visualized the dynamics, the color, the energy, the mood. Everything is created twice: first in the mind, then with the instruments.

Music is always created twice, first in the mind and then with the voices of the instrument.

This metaphor transformed how Matthew sees life. Our thoughts are the upbeats to our actions. Our attitude is the upbeat to every situation. The first thoughts we have when we wake up are literally the upbeats to our day.

We choose our upbeat. We choose what we create.

The Power of Get

On September 12, 2020, Matthew had one of those moments that changes everything. It was cold, rainy, too miserable for his planned morning swim. So he grabbed a notebook and started journaling about September 11, 2001.

He remembered being a middle school band director that day, watching the towers fall with his students. He remembered how his seventh graders asked to turn off the TV and just play. How they played a simple piece called "America" over and over. How his eighth graders performed "Amazing Grace" and discovered the superpower of music: when words fail, music speaks.

Reflecting on that day, on the power of connection and purpose, something shifted. He looked at his to-do list and added one simple word to every item: get.

Not "I have to email Sarah." I get to email Sarah.

Not "I have to prepare for class." I get to prepare for class.

And then he wrote something that surprised him: "I get to dance in the rain. I get to go for a swim."

So he did. He put on his swim trunks, went outside in the freezing rain, and dove into the pool. As he swam, he thought about everything he gets to do. The breath in his lungs. His life in music. The chance to inspire others. The opportunity to teach leadership.

And it hit him. This isn't just about gratitude (though gratitude is the G in GET). It's about presence. About living fully in this moment, the only moment that's ever guaranteed.

He built an entire framework around it:

G stands for Gratitude. Living from a spirit of gratitude, appreciating others openly instead of keeping it to ourselves.

E stands for Enthusiasm. Living with energy and being all in. And here's something beautiful: the word enthusiasm comes from the Greek. En (within), theos (God), iasm (essence). Enthusiasm literally means the essence of God within us.

T stands for Treasure. Treasuring the people in our lives, yes. But also recognizing the treasure within ourselves. Each of us has a light meant to shine brightly. Not to be like someone else, but to be fully ourselves, rising to our full potential.

The Light Within

One of Matthew's most powerful messages is about that light. He believes each person on this planet is here for a reason. That each person matters. That you are special. You have a unique light that's meant to shine.

But so much of society dims our light. Peer pressure. Comparison. Even well-meaning systems can sometimes dim our light. We have to break free and realize that our job, our purpose, is to shine our light brightly.

Not because it's about us. Because when we shine our light brightly, we encourage other people to shine their light brightly.

Leadership is shining a spotlight on others. But you can't do that if your own light is dim.

Three Questions for Your Journey

As I reflect on my conversation with Matthew, three questions keep circling back:

First, what are you doing each day to look for the ways others can propel you? Brad and Greg didn't wait for permission. They knocked on the door and asked how they could help. Who are the people in your life ready to step up? Are you creating space for them?

Second, what does it mean for you to be on the upbeat? What thoughts are you choosing? What attitude are you bringing into each situation, each conversation, each meeting? Remember, everything is created twice. What are you creating in your mind before you take action?

Third, what did this conversation bring you that will help you grow, go, and move into the storms you're facing? Maybe it's the definition of leadership. Maybe it's the power of get. Maybe it's the reminder that you have a unique light meant to shine.

Whatever it is, don't just read this and move on. Do something with it.

The Contribution That Matters

When I asked Matthew what he'd say to someone in a dark place, someone questioning their worth, his answer was beautiful. He suggested keeping a contribution journal. At the end of each day, write down three things: What did I contribute today?

It doesn't have to be grandiose. Maybe you fed the dog. Maybe you were kind to someone at the grocery store. Maybe you showed up and did your job well. The point is to recognize that you are contributing, that you do make a difference, that you are worthy.

This reminds us that our spark is here for a reason. It gives us the energy to take the next step and contribute a little bit more.

I've been asking a similar question for years: What did I do well for others today? It's the same spirit. When we focus on how we've contributed, how we've mattered to others, it lifts us from whatever dark place we're in.

Your Unique Light

So here's my challenge for you. Take out a piece of paper right now. Write down your to-do list for today or tomorrow. Now go through and add "get to" before each item.

I get to respond to that difficult email.
I get to have that challenging conversation.
I get to work on that project.
I get to unload the dishwasher.

Notice how it shifts your mindset? That's the upbeat in action. That's you choosing your thoughts, your attitude, your focus.

And then take it one step further. At the end of your day, before you go to bed, write down three contributions you made. Three ways you showed up. Three ways your light shone, even if just a little.

Do this for a week. Watch what happens.

Because here's what Matthew knows, what those two trombone players knew, what every buffalo leader understands: Culture doesn't fix itself. Leadership isn't a title. And change doesn't wait for permission.

It starts with someone willing to knock on the door and ask, "How can I help?"

It starts with someone willing to believe that every person can be a leader.

It starts with someone willing to live on the upbeat, choosing gratitude and enthusiasm and treasure in every moment.

Maybe that someone is you.

You have a unique light. It's meant to shine into our magnificence. Not someone else's magnificence. Yours. Ours. The collective brilliance that happens when we all stop dimming our lights and start shining them brightly.

So shine. Charge into the storms. Ask how you can help. Live in the spirit of get. And remember what Matthew reminded me: leadership is inspiring and encouraging others to achieve their full potential.

Starting with believing in that potential. Sometimes even before they see it themselves.

That's what leaders do. That's what buffaloes do. That's what you get to do.

Now go. Be the upbeat. Create the downbeat you want to hear.

The music is waiting.