I was doom scrolling through TikTok the other day (yes, I'm that guy), and I stumbled across something that stopped me mid-scroll. A man was talking about oranges. Just oranges. Weird, right?

But what Wayne Dyer said next hit me like a lightning bolt:

When you squeeze an orange, you'll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what's inside. The same logic applies to you. When someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what's inside.

I sat there staring at my phone, letting that truth settle in. What's inside us is exactly what spills out when life applies pressure. And if we want to give love, joy, and solutions to the world, we need to change what we're putting inside ourselves.

So let me ask you: what's coming out when you're squeezed?

The Hill That Changed Everything

Let me take you back to 2004. My wife Megan and I had just moved into a new house in the country, and my son Charlie was two years old. He loved going on hikes with me, tucked into his little backpack carrier, tugging on my hat and ears while we explored the woods together.

About 200 yards from our backyard, we discovered a half-mile loop trail, perfect for afternoon walks. It was worn smooth by years of kids on BMX bikes, complete with dirt ramps and little jumps scattered along the path.

Charlie would run ahead on those walks, investigating every rock, stick, and flower he could find. But about two-thirds through the trail, we'd encounter what I called "the hill." To me, it was maybe 10 feet high. To a two-footer like Charlie? Mount Everest.

Every single day, he'd reach that hill, look up at it like it was an impossible climb, and throw his arms up in the universal toddler signal for "pick me up." And every single day, I would. Because that's what dads do, right?

This went on for weeks. Until one afternoon, everything changed.

The Little Engine That Could

The day before, Charlie's grandma (my mom) had read him a book: The Little Engine That Could. I had no idea this simple story would become the catalyst for one of the most powerful lessons I've ever witnessed about what we put inside ourselves.

We approached the hill that next day, and I reached down to pick him up like always. But Charlie pushed me away.

"You go up the hill, Dad."

I had no clue what was happening. So I walked to the top and turned around to see my two-foot-three-inch son standing at the base of his mountain, talking to himself with a fierce determination I'd never seen before.

I couldn't hear what he was saying, so I walked halfway down. And then I heard it.

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."

My heart stopped. Here was my tiny son, squeezed by a challenge that seemed insurmountable to him, and what came out? The story his grandmother had planted in him just one night before.

He started moving his arms like they were wheels on a locomotive. He began climbing, chanting his mantra with every step. And just before he reached the top, his words changed:

"I know I can, I know I can, I know I can!"

Then he was running down the other side, shouting "Choo choo!" while I chased after him, tears streaming down my face.

That memory is seared into my soul. Because in that moment, I witnessed a fundamental truth: attitude isn't fixed. It's learned. It's deposited. And when we're squeezed, what we've put inside ourselves is exactly what comes out.

From C to S:
The Mindset That Changes Everything

So here's what I want to help you put inside yourself today: C2S.

C stands for Complain or Criticize (our common response when we feel threatened or not in control).

S stands for Solution or Strategy.

We need to move from C to S, and we need to do it quickly. Because here's the truth: complaining is easy. Casting blame without understanding is easy. What's difficult? Being positive and proactive. Seeing a problem and working toward solutions. Sticking to those solutions with resilience.

Why is it so hard? Because the norm in most places is pity parties, not solution soirees. (Yes, I went a little French there.)

But what if we could change that norm? What if we could train ourselves and our teams to respond differently when squeezed?

Eight Is Enough:
Coaching People to Solutions

Every complaint or criticism is an opportunity for improvement, not an opportunity to join the chant. It takes time and effort to come prepared with solutions, and we need to help people get there.

I'm calling this framework "Eight Is Enough" because these eight strategies are enough to transform how we approach challenges, and honestly, eight is enough complaining. It's time to move forward.

1. Acknowledge Emotion Before Analysis

People can't problem-solve until they feel heard. Before diving into data or solutions, pause and validate the feeling.

Try this: "It sounds like you're frustrated because..." Then avoid debating or defending. Simply reflect what you hear. Once they feel seen, shift gently: "I hear how that's been difficult. Let's talk about what we can influence today."

2. Ask Power Questions to Shift Ownership

Questions redirect the brain from complaint to creativity. Instead of staying stuck in the problem, try asking:

• "What would a win look like here?"
• "If you could change one thing about this, what would it be?"
• "What's one step we can take this week?"
• "How have you seen this handled well before?"

My favorite key phrase: "That's a good observation. What do you think we could try?"

3. Name the Pattern (Gently, But Clearly)

Bringing awareness breaks cycles of negativity. When you notice the conversation circling the drain, say something like:

"I've noticed we've been focusing a lot on what's not working. Can we take five minutes to brainstorm what might work?"

Keep your tone neutral and curious, not accusatory. Sometimes we just need someone to lovingly shake us off our negative block.

4. Set Time Boundaries for Venting

People need space to express frustration, but we can't let venting become the entire conversation. That's why there's a "2" in C2S. Two minutes to complain, then move to solution.

Try this: "Let's take two minutes to get frustrations out per person, then 10 minutes to talk about solutions."

This signals both empathy and a sense of urgency. "Let's air it out here for a few minutes, then shift gears to what we can do about it."

5. Use Appreciative Inquiry

Reframe the energy toward what's already working, then build on that success.

Ask questions like: "When we've handled something like this well in the past, what did we do?" or "What strengths can we leverage here today?"

The key phrase: "Let's build on what's already strong."

6. Model Forward-Focused Language

Remember: people mirror the tone of their leader.

Replace "they should" with "we can." Replace "it's always been" with "this time we can." And publicly praise forward thinking: "I appreciate that idea. That's the kind of thinking that moves us forward."

A buffalo runs into the storm it's facing. A cow just sits around missing the old days.

7. Remind People of the Circle of Control

Draw three circles on a board: Control (what we can directly act upon), Influence (what we can shape indirectly), and Concern (what we can't control).

Then refocus on the inner two circles. When someone brings up something outside these circles, gently tap that outer circle and remind them: it's not within our control.

The key phrase: "Which parts of this within our circles of control can we actually address?"

8. End Every Meeting with an Action Commitment

Don't leave conversations hanging in complaint space. Action turns talk into progress and reinforces accountability.

Ask: "What's our next step, and who's doing what by when?" Write it down. Circulate it. Follow up.

The key phrase: "We're leaving this room today with one action item each so we can move forward."

Fill Your Tank: The Power of Your Herd

Here's something I need you to understand: left to your own all the time, there comes a point when there's no more juice to squeeze. That's when we need others to recognize we need refueling.

I've been blessed with friends like Dan and Heidi who notice when I'm slightly out of tune, like a guitar that needs adjusting.

Dan has this incredible way of calling just to check in. He positively reinforces what I'm doing and dismisses the negativity that might be swirling around me. His calm, kind reminders fill me back up.

Heidi has this beautiful habit of acknowledgment. She'll randomly call or text to remind me how I showed up for her or others. Just the other day, she saw a picture of me hiking with my daughter Grace in Joshua Tree and texted: "I can't believe you find time for your family while balancing all your work. Good for you."

That simple acknowledgment filled me up when I didn't even know I was running low.

So while we facilitate C2S for others, we also need to surround ourselves with people who fill us up when we're being squeezed.

What's Inside You?

My son Charlie is 23 now. He's a full-time teacher, and honestly, I can barely keep up with him on hikes anymore. Someday, he might be throwing me in a backpack and carrying me through the woods.

But I'll never forget that day on the trail when he was two. When he was squeezed by his mountain and what came out was belief. Determination. The power of a story someone had planted in him just one night before.

What are you planting in yourself today? What are you putting inside so that when life squeezes you (and it will), what comes out moves you and others forward?

Because here's the truth: we are what's inside us. We're obligated to put more in so that when squeezed, we respond with positivity, with solutions, with the words "I think I can" turning into "I know I can."

Complaining is fine for two minutes. But proactively moving yourself forward? That's a lifetime of engagement, purpose, and leadership.

So analyze your responses when you're squeezed. Study these eight strategies. Look at the people around you and figure out how you can help them move from C to S.

And remember: attitude isn't fixed. It's learned. It's deposited. It's everything we choose to put inside ourselves.

Now get out there and charge into your storm. Because that's what buffaloes do.

What's one action you'll take this week to move from complaint to solution? I'd love to hear your story.