The Power of Reflection and Projection

This article is adapted from Ted's Smart Thinking podcast episode 369: Reflect and Project.

Years ago, I found myself sitting in one of the most ornate rooms I'd ever been in. The walls were painted a deep red, covered with golden quotes and historical paintings. Sculptures caught the light from chandeliers overhead. I was in Wisconsin's state capitol, surrounded by the most influential and powerful people in our state, and all I could think was: what am I doing here?

As some policy attorney droned on about laws versus rules, I found myself drifting back in time. The last time I'd been this impressed by a room was when I was in fourth grade, standing in this exact same space on a school tour. I remembered Mrs. Geib telling our class that any one of us could be in this room someday, making important decisions.

And there I was. Someday had arrived.

In that moment, I began an inner dialogue with my fourth grade self. Teddy, you would never believe you were back here. You'd be blown away by some of the places we've been, things we've done, situations we've survived. Little Teddy would probably be skeptical that he made it out of certain situations, and he'd feel kind of weird and proud to hear that you're okay in the future.

A weird calm washed over me. When the woman leading the meeting called on me, I didn't answer her question. Instead, I paused, looked at everyone in the room, and said: "Can you imagine telling your fourth grade self that you'd be sitting here, doing all of this work right now?"

The highest ranking person in the room smiled and said, "Nightsky, you can't help but think all the time, can you?"

No. I can't. And that's exactly the point.

Why We Need to Talk to Our Past Selves

Ever since that day, I've maintained this constant inner dialogue with little Teddy. Every moment of joy, sadness, excitement, or frustration sparks that inner fourth grade voice: "Can you believe this is happening to us?"

It's more than nostalgia. It's about building inner confidence through reflection. It's about remembering how far we've come, especially during those middle-of-the-year moments when we're searching for energy to push through to the end.

Here's what the research tells us: reflective exercises support emotional intelligence and reduce stress. Daily reflection acts as a buffer against the cumulative stress of modern life. When you externalize your thoughts through journaling or structured thinking, you move from emotional reactivity to rational observation. You stop worrying forward and start learning from your past.

Dr. James Pennebaker's research on expressive writing found that people who reflected on their experiences through handwriting (not typing) showed improved immune system functioning, lower blood pressure, and better sleep quality, especially when reflecting on gratitude or solutions. Your brain can finally rest.

The Wisdom of High School Students

This past week, I was working with about 70 high school students from rural, urban, and suburban schools across Wisconsin. My inner Teddy suddenly kicked in with a question: what would these young people's fourth grade selves want to hear from their future selves? And what would they tell their fourth grade selves if they could?

So I asked them. If time travel was possible and you could have 30 seconds with your past self and your future self, what would you tell them? What one sentence of wisdom would you give? What reminders would you share to make sure you stay true to who you are?

The depth of their responses floored me. These weren't surface-level thoughts. These were profound reflections from teenagers who understood something essential about the human journey.

Here's what they told their 10-year-old selves:

"There are three C's to remember in your life: take the chance to make a choice to bring a change."

"It is okay to be uncomfortable because that is where you learn and grow the most."

"Don't let others take your joy."

"Be excited for the hardships."

"You will find where you truly belong. It's okay to be a leader and stand out in an unfamiliar way, even in a small town with a small group of people."

"Slow down. You don't need to have a best friend to be a good friend. Being a good friend is being kind, supportive, and understanding to those around you."

"Stop worrying more about pleasing others than taking care of yourself."

"Take your time. Live in the moment and try new things. Take risks. Don't be in a rush to grow up."

"It's actually not cool to be just like everyone else."

"Don't be afraid of failure. Just because you are not successful at first doesn't mean you have failed."

"Play kickball at recess. Go home and play with Otto the dog. Help mom cook dinner and watch a movie while playing zoobies with your sister."

And my personal favorite: "Listen to mom and dad. They know more than you. Also, make sure to tell them that you love them."

Looking Forward: Advice to Their Future Selves

Then they turned their attention forward. What would they tell themselves in the future? The projection was just as powerful as the reflection:

"Shoot for the moon because even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

"Keep doing what you love and focus on the things that matter to you. Don't give up on the dream because we can't, even when things get hard for us."

"Change can be scary, but take it and run with it. Please, please never run away from it."

"As we live our life, let's try to control what we can, but try to do that with patience and kindness."

"Don't, don't, don't spend all of your time on stuff that won't really matter in the end. Go have some fun, please."

"Enjoy the people in your life now because in time, they won't always be there. And please be the person that others can rely on."

I pulled a few of these young leaders aside and asked why their answers were so deep and thoughtful. They all said the same thing in different ways: "If I had to tell my little kid self something, I'd want them to be more confident. And if I could tell my older self something, I'd want to remind them of what really matters to me right now."

Your Smart Thinking Challenge

Here's what I want you to do, regardless of what you do or who you serve. I'm offering you a Smart Thinking challenge to help the people around you through reflection and projection.

Give everyone a note card. On one side, label it "Past Self." On the other side, "Future Self." You define the timeline. It could be the start of this school year to the end. It could be the beginning of a project to its completion. It could be when they joined your team to where they'll be in five years.

Then ask two questions:

1. Knowing what you know now, what advice would you have given yourself at the start of this journey?

2. What do you want to tell your future self on the last day of this journey?

What happens next is intentional reflection and projection. People will reflect on challenges and share advice about being resilient, strong, or learning to ignore the noise. They'll project forward with hope and intention: "By the time this journey is completed, I hope I will..." or "I don't want to forget..." or "You will be..."

Here's the powerful part: keep that advice. Save it for the next group that begins the same journey. Imagine your students or staff reading advice from people who walked this path before them. Imagine starting your next project with wisdom from the midpoint of your last one.

Why do so many of us repeat the same tactical errors? Ignore lessons we've already learned? Forget the wisdom of our own lives? It's because there's no one there collecting it for us. There's no leader reminding us to apply what we already know.

The Daily Practice

You don't need an hour-long session to gain the benefits of reflection. Try this five-minute framework:

Recall: What happened today that elicited a strong reaction, good or bad?

Analyze: How did I react? When did I react? Why did I react that way?

Apply: What will I do differently if a similar situation arises tomorrow?

Think of reflection like saving your progress in a video game. If you don't stop to save, you might have to repeat the same difficult level tomorrow. Learn, grow, and move forward.

Better yet, journal to your past self. Write in your own hand (not typing): "Hey Teddy, today we did the following. We had impact. We had opportunities. We learned, we grew, we lost, we won."

What Would Your Fourth Grade Self Think?

As I'm writing this, the Winter Olympics are taking place and the Super Bowl just concluded. Imagine being any of those athletes and telling their fourth grade selves that they're participating in these events. Imagine the advice they'd give their future selves. Imagine the confidence their fourth grade selves would feel knowing they made it.

You don't need to be an Olympian or a Super Bowl player to have that conversation with yourself. Look for the micro and macro moments worth sharing with your fourth grade self. Reframe them: how lucky am I to be faced with this opportunity?

Better yet, help someone else reflect. Write a note to a colleague: "I think your fourth grade self would see how awesome you were today, how you handled that difficult situation with grace, how kind you are, how strong you are. I think she'd be really amazed by you."

Our ability to help others reflect is essential. Your influence cannot be underestimated. People admire you and need you.

At the end of every day, journal to your fourth grade self: "You'll never believe what we did today." Include both the good and the opportunities for growth. Then end with: "We stayed true to ourselves" or "We didn't, and we have to learn, grow, and go tomorrow."

Why? Because we're Buffalo leaders. Some days it's difficult to face into the storm. Some days we're surrounded by pessimism. But you know what they say about people who fall off that Buffalo: you just get right back on and keep charging.

Imagine telling your fourth grade self that you grew up to be a Buffalo. The sheer confusion on your little face would make it all worthwhile.

Now go. Learn, grow, and charge into your storm. Your fourth grade self is watching, and they're already proud.