Pause and Applause: Creating Moments that Matter

This article is adapted from Ted's podcast episode 345: Pause and Applause (Reflection and Engagement Tactic).

Hey leaders! Ted here, and I've got to share something that's been on my mind since this incredible weekend at Summerfest in Milwaukee. Picture this: nearly 100-degree heat, multiple music stages going all at once, and me getting to see James Taylor with my daughter. But here's the thing - while I was soaking in all that amazing music, my brain was doing what it always does, seeing leadership lessons everywhere I look.

You know how I am with my CliftonStrengths of learning and ideation, seasoned with a little ADHD magic that won't let me just sit still. I'm always finding connections between what's happening around me and how we can all become better leaders. And between all those incredible performances, something kept hitting me: the power of applause and what happens when we intentionally create those moments for the people we serve and love.

The Moment That Changed Everything

Let me take you back a few weeks to Washington, D.C. I was there for a Gallup award ceremony - and get this, I finally figured out I had been sitting on a mountain of points from Southwest Airlines, Enterprise, and hotels that I'd never used. So naturally, I brought my son Charlie along for the adventure. The guy just finished his first successful year teaching, and hey, it's summer Charlie mode, so why not celebrate with some father-son museum hopping in our nation's capital?

We found ourselves at this elegant dinner on a beautiful portico overlooking the Washington Monument. Picture twinkly lights above us, intelligent and successful people all around, and Charlie and I looking pretty sharp in our sport coats - well, at least he was looking good! We're sitting with Emily from Gallup, getting ready for what promised to be an inspiring evening.

Then John Clifton, the CEO of Gallup, gets up to speak. This man is sharing incredible insights about our world, celebrating the amazing work people in that room have been doing, and dropping serious wisdom about engagement and leadership. But here's what I noticed - everyone was just sitting there. Listening, sure, but not responding. No applause. No energy. No reinforcement for this brilliant content being shared.

Now, you know me - I've never been one to enjoy silent awkwardness. I lean over to Emily and Charlie and whisper, "We're going to get people clapping." Charlie gives me that look - you parents know the one - the look that says, "Dad, you're about to either embarrass me or tell a terrible joke, and I can't stop you."

But here's the thing about leadership moments - they don't wait for permission.

John pauses after making a particularly powerful point, and I clap. Just me. Two or three times. And then magic happened. Within seconds, everyone joined in. John looked around, smiled, and continued with noticeably more energy. We all smiled at our table with that quiet pride that comes from knowing we just shifted an entire room's dynamic.

It takes one person to change everything.

The Science Behind the Applause

Here's what I've learned about applause - it's not just polite social behavior. Applause is our way as humans to create consensus and reinforce with the person in front of us that we want more of what they have to offer. When we applaud, we're saying, "Yes, this matters. You matter. Keep going."

And frankly, I wanted more of what John was sharing. We all did. But without that reinforcement, without that energy exchange, even the most brilliant insights can fall flat.

This connects directly to something we're exploring at our Smart Thinking Retreat this summer - the critical human need to understand our status. Not our title, mind you, but our place in the group socially. Where we stand with others and where we fit. When people don't understand their status, workplace anxiety skyrockets. We create weird narratives, doom spiral into loops of worry, teeter toward disengagement, and start seeking out other lost souls who become cultural saboteurs.

But when we pause and applaud - when we intentionally reinforce someone's value and impact - we help them understand their status through our eyes and the lenses we wear.

The Buffalo Mentality in Action

Remember our weekly reminder about being buffaloes? We charge into storms with optimism, enthusiasm, and energy, coupled with resilience and tenacity. We reflect daily on our impact by asking ourselves: What did I do well today, and what could I change for tomorrow?

Well, pause and applause is buffalo behavior at its finest. When we see someone doing good work, facing challenges, or simply being present in the world, we charge toward them with reinforcement instead of waiting for someone else to make the first move.

Think about that video of the guy at the music festival - you've probably seen it. He's standing on a grassy hill, dancing all by himself while everyone else just watches. But his energy and vibe start shifting the entire atmosphere. One by one, people begin taking the risk he started, and suddenly the whole crowd is dancing together instead of just watching one brave soul enjoy the moment alone.

I've always been like that guy, and I want you to be too. It doesn't take much to be the first person to re-engage others, to get them excited, to remind them they matter.

Letters That Land Like Lightning

Here's your first pause and applause strategy: the power of a letter out of nowhere. Just like when I intentionally began clapping at the Gallup event, a note out of the blue can stop someone in their tracks and make them think about what they did that got this attention.

Administrators, your title literally comes from the word "administrate," meaning to move things. Well, let's move people's emotions this summer. Send notes home to your entire staff - and I mean everyone, because there's no hierarchy when it comes to impact. Every single person on your team has influence over another person, which means they're all leaders.

Picture this: someone walking to their mailbox on a warm summer afternoon, sorting through bills and flyers, and finding a hand-addressed envelope. They skip everything else, open your note, and read: "I want you to know that this past year, you were great through it all. And I appreciate you."

That's what a pause and applause moment sounds like in written form.

I still remember getting a letter before my freshman year of high school from Mr. Gerke, my social studies teacher. It was handwritten: "Dear Theodore, My name is Mr. Gerke. I am your ninth-grade social studies teacher. This year in social studies, we will do the following..." And then he ended with words that still impact me at 54 years old: "And I've heard you're a pretty bright young man. Sincerely, Mr. G. Gerke."

Here I am, decades later, and those words still fuel me. That's the power we have to change someone's trajectory with intentional applause.

Technology as Your Applause Amplifier

Don't limit yourself to handwritten notes. Use the voice memo feature on your phone. Hit record and send someone a message reinforcing how much you value them or reminding them of their worth. I have voicemails stored on my phone from years ago - people who called just to say, "Ted, I saw what happened today. You're going through a rough patch. You've dealt with criticism, but you need to know that today won't feel this way tomorrow."

Those messages become anchors during storms.

Here's a bonus story that'll make you smile: Back when I was a principal, I had this razor flip phone clipped to my belt under my suit coat - thought I was so cool! Anytime I caught someone doing something I expected or wanted, I'd stop them right there in the hallway and say, "Give me your mom or dad's phone number."

One day, I caught this young man picking up a piece of paper from the floor when no one else was around. I called his mother, and she immediately went defensive: "What did he do now? Why are you always picking on my son?"

I said, "Actually, I want to put your son on the phone to tell you why we're calling." That kid got to tell his mom that Mr. Neitzke caught him doing something good, something no one else saw, and now we were calling to celebrate it.

The point is, you can use anything at any time to pause and applaud.

The Ripple Effect of Recognition

When we normalize applauding for others, we create environments where people operate within their strengths and feel like unicorns riding into the sunset - engaged, valued, and seen for who they truly are.

But here's what really gets me excited: the ripple effect. When Charlie, Emily, and I got that entire room clapping for John Clifton, we created an uplifting moment for the grandson of the man who invented positive psychology. We reminded someone who spends his life reinforcing others' work that he was awesome too.

That's the beauty of pause and applause - it doesn't just impact the person receiving it. It elevates everyone involved. The giver feels the joy of making a difference, the receiver feels valued and seen, and everyone witnessing it gets reminded of what's possible when we intentionally support each other.

Your Summer Challenge

So here's what I want you to do this summer. Think empathetically for a moment. Imagine you're walking to your mailbox, and among all the bills and junk mail, you find a note-card-sized envelope. You walk back inside, skip everything else, and open it. Inside, someone has written about your impact, your effort, your value.

How would that feel? How would it change your day, your week, your narrative about yourself?

Now, who in your world needs that feeling? Make a list:

• Former students who just left your classroom
• Current colleagues who are grinding through challenges
• The people above you in the hierarchy who rarely hear they're doing good work
• The quiet contributors who make everything run smoothly
• Anyone carrying the burden of negative narratives they've created about themselves

The Scooter Story That Sealed It

After that celebration in Washington, D.C., Charlie and I left in our suit coats and wingtips, discussing how amazing it was to be in a room with such engaged people. Then we did something completely spontaneous - we scanned QR codes and hopped on little lime scooters, zipping through the humid night toward the White House.

Watching my son ahead of me, joyfully zigzagging around cars and people, I had this thought about his future and all the people who would be in it. I hoped he'd have people who saw that he mattered. People who would pause and applaud his efforts, his growth, his unique contribution to the world.

That's when it really hit me - what Charlie, Emily, and I had done wasn't just about getting people to clap. We had created a moment where everyone lifted another human being. And in doing so, we reminded ourselves of the power we all have to change someone's trajectory with intentional recognition.

The Buffalo Call to Action

As we charge into the storms others are facing, let's be intentional about finding ways to reinforce that effort matters and that they matter. Let's pause and applaud the wonderful people around us, helping them move faster toward their challenges with optimism, enthusiasm, and the ability to lean into the strengths that make them unique and amazing.

Because here's what I know for sure - too many people are silently suffering under the burden of negative narratives, many of which they've created about themselves. Applause is about shifting that. When we help others feel seen and valued, we're practicing positive psychology in real time. We're proving that mindset matters and that helping others is the most empathetic way to increase someone's impact on their world.

Remember that 12-year-old boy I saw at Summerfest, playing guitar and singing cover songs on a tiny side stage with maybe 10 people watching? Each time he finished a song, the audience went wild. I hope it was filled with family, friends, and a few strangers. But you know what that child must have felt like with that level of applause? Like he had air under his soles, like he was flying through the world.

That's the feeling we can give people every single day. That's the power of pause and applause.

So get to it, leaders. Describe your pause and applause strategy. List the people you'll reinforce this summer. Think about the leaders around you who would benefit from doing this with their teams.

Because when we intentionally create moments that matter, we don't just change individual days - we change entire trajectories. We remind people they're seen, they matter, and they belong.

And in a world that often feels divided and disconnected, that kind of buffalo leadership isn't just nice to have - it's essential.

Now go out there and start some applause. The world is waiting for what you have to offer, and so are the amazing people around you.