This article is adapted from Ted's podcast episode 363: Remembering the Purpose of Kindergarten.

I have a confession. The other day, I was making holiday cookies with my mom, a retired kindergarten teacher who spent over three decades in the classroom, and I mentioned I was working on a podcast about kindergarten. I didn't even finish the sentence before she took a deep breath and launched into what can only be described as a passionate editorial about what's happened to early childhood education.

"I don't understand this," she said, hands covered in flour. "I taught kindergarten for 30 years, and I cannot imagine for a moment that anyone would believe every five-year-old on the planet is capable of doing the same thing. There is a huge difference between a five-year-old and a five-and-a-half-year-old. Yet we're in there teaching them math and reading and they don't get it. And they're getting frustrated and they're getting angry."

Friends, I think my mom is onto something.

The Garden We've Forgotten

Let me take you back to 1976. My kindergarten classroom with Mrs. Gatzke was, in a word, awesome. Every single day, all I wanted to do was get myself over to those wood trucks. She had these gigantic wood trucks made out of four-by-fours. Those things must have weighed 300 pounds, and they were glorious.

In four hours, we had two recesses. Two. We had the opportunity to run off our energy, fend for ourselves, and play games together in a diverse environment of kids from all over our community.

Mrs. Gatzke followed what I'd call the "older kindergarten mindset," where kindergarten was a place to learn, grow, and play. And play wasn't just part of the day. It was a significant part of the day, teaching me how to collaborate with others, how to get along with others, how to fend for myself.

Want to know what I was assessed on? Whether I knew my colors. My right hand from my left hand. Whether I could count to 79 (don't ask me why I couldn't get to 80). Whether I could skip and dance to the beat. Whether I was polite. Whether I could be kind and helpful to others. Whether I took my turn.

Now, let me share what a modern four-year-old kindergarten report card looks like. Can you identify uppercase and lowercase letters? Can you identify sounds of all consonants? Short vowels? Can you count by rote, count objects, make equal sets, recognize all shapes, all numbers, all colors?

Friends, the world has changed a little bit. But little people have not.

From Garden to Boot Camp

Our story begins with a German educator named Friedrich Froebel who had a radical idea: children were like plants in a garden, and teachers were the gardeners nurturing their growth. Hence, kindergarten. Literally, "children's garden."

Froebel believed children would be their best if they could learn through play, self-activity, and nature. No worksheets. No flashcards. Just glorious, unadulterated, developmentally appropriate play.

This vision hummed along beautifully for decades. But then something shifted.

As we moved into the late 20th and early 21st century, the educational landscape began to demand more. What was once a gentle introduction to school life began to morph into a prep course for first grade, then second, then, dare I say, college applications?

Suddenly, the block corner started gathering dust. The dramatic play area was replaced with individual reading stations. Recess became a luxury. The mantra became rigor, standards, and assessments.

We've gone from children's garden to children's academic boot camp.

The Real Crisis

Recently, I've spent a lot of time with school leaders. When I ask how they're doing, they immediately share how they spend a lot more time with younger children and their behaviors. Kids seemingly unable to self-regulate. Kids who feel they can walk anywhere they want. Tempers and physical altercations. Classrooms where control is difficult with a greater frequency than ever before.

And here's what I hear from those same leaders: "This is how I normally feel in April, and it's only November."

The irony? Research consistently shows that strong social-emotional skills are foundational to academic success. Yet, in our quest for higher test scores, we often sideline these critical developmental areas. It's like building a skyscraper without proper foundations. Eventually, things get a little wobbly and maybe fall over.

Charging Into the Storm

As Buffalo leaders, we don't sit around and wait to see what will happen. We charge into the storms we're facing. Here's what we can do, starting now.

What Schools Can Do

We need to mandate more play-based learning. More time outside. More exploration. When we've got a runner in a classroom who has to sit there for 75 straight minutes at five years old, and they can't sit still at home because the only time they do sit still is with an iPad and headphones on, well, we can't create that in a collaborative learning environment.

What prevents learning from moving forward? The loss of free play. If we want to create opportunities for kids, we need to increase recess time at the sacrifice of academics. Because what's currently being sacrificed is academic time anyway.

Prioritize transitions. Create formal year-long coordination between 4K programs and elementary schools. Make sure we have a common language across the entire school to support all kids. Explicitly teach behaviors we want to see. Focus on positive reinforcement.

Remember: an unspoken expectation can never be met, and a behavior ignored is a behavior reinforced.

What Parents Can Do

Parents are the child's first and most influential teacher. To prepare a child for a positive kindergarten experience, the focus should be less on drilling academics and more on independence, communication, and emotional regulation.

Separation and trust. Practice leaving your child with other trusted adults. Always say a firm, quick goodbye and promise to return, then follow through.

Emotional regulation. Help your child name their feelings. "I see you're frustrated because the block tower fell." Teach coping strategies like deep breaths or asking for help.

Sharing and turn-taking. Play board games that require taking turns and dealing with winning and losing gracefully. Too many parents don't want their kids to ever lose. But when you get to kindergarten, you're going to lose. If you've never experienced losing, you won't be able to regulate your emotions.

Friends, you've got to crush your kids when playing Candy Land.

Following multi-step directions. Give two or three-step directions routinely. "Please put your shoes on, then grab your jacket and stand by the door."

Reading aloud to your child every day. Ask open-ended questions. Use descriptive words. Help children learn to write their own name. Phonics is not just the school's responsibility. It's all of our responsibility.

What We Can Do Together

It's not the school's responsibility and it's not the parents' responsibility. It's everyone's responsibility.

Host workshops at school. Just little 15-minute sessions where parents can learn how to help their children self-regulate, what is expected versus unexpected behaviors, what they can do at home.

Dedicate time to explicitly teaching routines. The first four to six weeks of kindergarten should focus firmly on learning how to just be a kid. Routines and independent skills, not just academics. We've got to slow down at the start of the school year.

Establish consistent home-school communication focused on the whole child. "I saw Liam today, and he showed great persistence when his crayon broke." Create a shared vocabulary between home and school.

The Wisdom We Need

Now what? Let's stop admiring the problem and start admiring the solution.

Get as many legacy experts around you as possible. Call retired early childhood specialists. People who were in the business for a really long time. Have them come in and observe classrooms. Listen as they share the evolution of kindergarten practices.

I'm serious. Go get someone who is a retired kindergarten teacher, somebody who worked 30, 40, or 50 years in the classroom. Over the evolution and cycles of their career, there's not a behavior they would be surprised by. They'll be able to say, "Oh, here's what you need to do. I had a student like that once."

Carl Jung said the only way to fundamentally change the behavior of a child is to first change your own.

Let's sit down and assess what we've evolved to and slow down to meet the children where they are. Did you hear that? Let's slow down to meet the children where they are.

That's the opportunity for all of us to stop and say: What did kindergarten look like in this community 30, 40, 50 years ago? What does it look like today? Can these little people do what we're expecting them to do?

Are we not spending enough time at the beginning of their journey to make sure their behaviors and social emotional needs are met and that they understand how to regulate everything around them?

The consequences of moving through the curriculum while the youngsters can't sit still will have significant downstream consequences. This is our call to action, and not for later. For now.

We can cast blame or we can create strategies and take risks. We can admire the problem or we can attack it. We're buffaloes, and you know exactly what we need to do.

The Garden Awaits

I worry about all the children when there are too many disrupting the classrooms. I worry when good teachers are thinking about becoming insurance underwriters and future generations will miss out on these amazing mission-driven people.

But when I worry, I wonder.

I wonder what we can do now. I wonder what opportunities exist to fail fast and move forward this year. I wonder how we can all work together. I wonder what wisdom a retired veteran teacher can bring when they come in and say, "Oh my gosh, I know exactly what to do here. I had that same child in 1985."

I think we can do this. I really do. I think we just have to step back and ask: What needs to be done proactively to make kids ready to learn academically? What changes can we make now? And next year, how can we approach this totally differently?

The answer to the issues we are facing? They're everywhere. They're in the mirror. They're in the hallway. They're in the library. They're at senior centers. What we do now will be critical for the children, the adults, and the future.

This little generation in schools right now, Generation Alpha, they deserve a great, safe, engaging, and loving school experience.

So let's do this. I can hear the thunder, friends, and that means it's time to go to our storm.

Because remember, a leader is anyone who has influence over another person. And in this moment, asking whether a kindergarten teacher can make that big of a difference, the answer is absolutely yes.

But only if we give them the space, the support, and the wisdom to remember what kindergarten was always meant to be.

A garden where children grow.