Own Your Ride: What a Horse Taught Me About Leading This Year

This article is adapted from Ted's Smart Thinking podcast Season 9: Episode 385: Start the year with the RIDE Principle.

This summer my family took our 19th annual road trip. Nineteen years of finding buffalo, bad diners, and, this time, a horse named Concho.

We were in Glacier National Park with a guide named Alexis, about to take my wife, my daughter, and me on a three and a half hour ride through three forests and a creek that Wisconsin folks would rightly call a raging river. Before we mounted up, Alexis walked from horse to horse, petting each one, and said something that stopped me cold.

"The horse is going to mirror your attitude, emotions, and energy. If you sit in that saddle nervous, the horse will be nervous."

I dug my phone out of my pocket to write that down before I lost it. That single sentence turned into the theme for our entire season, and I want to share it with you as we start a new school year.

The Ride Is a Mirror

Alexis gave us six simple rules before we set off. Remember the horses have done this before. They are huge and strong but also tender and loving. How you treat them is how they will treat you. The more you positively reinforce them, the faster they trust you. Be firm from the start or they will learn quickly that you are a pushover. And when you stop, talk to them, pet them, tell them how they are doing.

Read that list again and swap the word "horse" for "classroom," "team," or "staff." It is the exact same list.

My wife Megan is an incredible teacher with a warm, well managed classroom. But put her on a horse she is a little unsure of, and she loosens the reins instead of tightening them. Her horse, Andretti, felt that hesitation immediately. He wandered off the trail, scratched his backside on a pine tree with her still in the saddle, and ignored her completely, until the corral boss walked toward him with a firm, determined look. That horse straightened up like a class clown the moment the principal walked into the room.

Meanwhile I stayed loose and jovial with Concho, scratched his ears, praised him often, and he never left the trail once.

Same trail. Same rules. Completely different rides. The difference was not the horse. It was the rider.

The Science Behind the Story

When we got back to the cabin that night, I could not stop thinking about what Alexis said, so I did some digging. It turns out there is real research on cardiovascular synchronization between riders and horses. Because horses are prey animals, they evolved highly sensitive perceptual systems that let them read human emotional states through multiple senses at once. Anxiety causes tension in the thighs and a tighter grip on the reins, and the horse feels those tiny physical shifts and responds in kind.

In other words, the horse is not guessing how you feel. It knows.

I taught in a classroom before I was a principal or a superintendent, and I learned the same lesson the hard way. My presence set the altitude and the attitude of that room. If I let one difficult moment sour my mood and carried that mood around all day, it did not stay contained to me. It spread to everyone in the room. That is emotional transfer, and it is just as real in a school hallway as it is in a saddle.

The Ride Principle

You know I cannot resist making things spell something, so here it is. This year, own your RIDE.

Resilient. An unwavering commitment to never quit on yourself. When you model that, the room mirrors it. Take the reins and tighten them when others need help finding their best, while also knowing when to loosen up and trust that they will get through it. Positive reinforcement is what makes this work.

Interdependent. I need you as much as you need me. A group working in symbiotic rhythm together is stronger and smarter than any of us working alone. People need clear processes and rules, and our job is to guide them there by being firm, caring, and quick to reinforce what we want to see more of.

Determined. A determined rider is committed to the success and safety of everyone on the journey, psychological safety, physical safety, and the safety of a group that feels free to take risks. We build that through consistent, frequent positive reinforcement.

Enthusiastic. Not party balloons and confetti. Enthusiasm is commitment, love, ownership, and follow through. It is putting your energy where it is needed, noticing when someone else needs to carry it instead, and reinforcing that energy wherever you see it in others.

Some Days You Are the Rider, Some Days You Are the Horse

Here is the part I keep coming back to. The horse always knows it is really in charge. It is simply choosing to trust the rider, based on the rider’s mindset, what the rider reinforces, and how the rider holds the reins.

In our schools and offices, the horse is our staff, our students, our teams. The leader is the rider. And whether people follow us calmly or fight us the whole way down the trail depends far less on the terrain than it does on the energy we bring into the saddle.

So here is my challenge for you as this year begins. Make no assumption that anyone else is in control of your ride but you. No matter what is happening around you, you own your mindset, your happiness, and your engagement, and through those three things, you own the relationships around you too.

Some Smart Thinking to Take With You

Before you head back into your building, your classroom, or your office, sit with a few questions. Where in your work can you put the Ride Principle into practice? What trails will you ride this year, and how will you show resilience, lean into interdependence, stay determined, and bring enthusiasm to each one? And who around you needs to hear this too?

Concho taught me something simple that I will carry into this entire school year. How I feel is how you feel. How I act is how you act. What I reinforce, you will do more of. Firm and loving can coexist when I am the one holding the reins.

So this year, in your room, your office, your world, own your ride. Because after all, you are the one in control.