My friend Bob Vajgrt describes himself as quiet, maybe a little shy, an introvert. He's an ordinary guy who happened to become an architect, then a pilot, and now an author. But here's what Bob doesn't fully realize about himself: in his ordinariness, he's actually an extraordinary leader who goes about his business with humility, kindness, and compassion that transforms everyone around him.
I've known Bob for two decades. We worked together to design and build a school, and in that process, we became friends because we have very different personalities—and that's what's amazing about authentic leadership. It doesn't require you to be someone you're not.
Bob's new book, "The Story in Your Head: How Life Experiences Prepare You for Leadership or Not," captures something most leadership texts miss entirely: how to lead from who you are, not who you think you should be.
Throughout his career managing architectural projects, Bob noticed something critical: "There's books out on managing people, leading people, but the gap was, how do you do that by leading and managing from who you are?"
Most leadership books outline textbook information. Bob had something different to offer—stories that show how ordinary people do extraordinary things when they lead authentically.
His insight shifted from project management to something deeper: "How did you become who you are? How do you take those life experiences and share them with other people and help them grow in ways that you've grown?"
Bob grew up in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, in the late 60s and early 70s—small enough that kids could ride bikes everywhere, explore boundaries on their own, and learn where their limits were. His dad was a firefighter who became a fire inspector and knew pretty much everyone in town. "I had to be careful what I did," Bob laughs, "kind of setting boundaries."
But it was Mrs. Lloyd, his fifth-grade teacher, who had the biggest impact. "I was not a great student—probably a C-average student—but she always believed in what I could do. She supported where I was at, not necessarily telling me I had to get an A. She saw where I was and helped me build on that."
This is the foundation of Bob's leadership philosophy: meet people where they are and help them build from there.
Bob's first core principle requires leaders to define themselves before attempting to lead others. "As I started in my career, I noticed people leading me were saying things and doing things and not necessarily meaning them, or following through. That wasn't how I grew up."
For Bob, leadership authenticity means: "Being true to who you are, being respectful of other people, trying to help other people become who they want to be." But this isn't just about others—"you do need to work on yourself as well."
The key insight: "If you start to sway from who you are, the people you're trying to help see that. They're going to say, 'Why are you telling me to do this? You don't even do that.'"
Bob learned this philosophy from Jerry Briscato, a colleague who initially seemed arrogant but turned out to be pushing people to think differently. Jerry would always say "it is what it is," but more importantly, he taught Bob to "always look at things from a different lens."
"Whatever it is, that's what it is. We're going to proceed. We're just going to figure out a way to do it." Jerry helped Bob reframe problems in positive light and come up with positive solutions.
This led to Bob's breakthrough about creative mindset and getting messy: "It's OK if it's messy. You can always go back and change it or turn it into something else. We can make mistakes. It can get messy. But at the end of the day, we can also change the image, the direction. We can leave it behind and start over."
Bob's project management philosophy draws from Top Gun Maverick—specifically the scene where Tom Cruise throws the F-18 manual in the wastebasket and says, "We're going to find out who you are."
"There's a lot of manuals out there on project management, but it's who you are," Bob explains. "Managing by the way you are, not how you think you should be managing."
His approach centers on "truly caring about the people I'm working with. Not saying 'yeah, I care about you,' but truly caring about them. If you don't care about them as a person trying to lead them, they're not necessarily going to follow you."
The magic happens when you care about your team and they start to care about you. "Don't do something because somebody's telling you to do it. Do it because you think it should be done and it's right."
Bob's most practical insight comes through his "securing the perfect pizza" metaphor for project management. When designing buildings, he works with teams—superintendents, principals, teachers—all with different ideas, just like people ordering pizza.
"You start to talk about it as a team. You debate it. You come up with what you think it should be. You tell the waiter, and how many times have you ordered a pizza, and it comes to your table, and you open it up, and you're like, 'This isn't the pizza I ordered'?"
The solution requires:
"The expectation is I've ordered something and that's what I want. If that order could be improved and I say, 'Hey, maybe we could do this,' and they're like, 'Yeah, that's a great idea,' then great. But don't just automatically add it because that may not be what they want."
Bob's most powerful story comes from Sheboygan Falls, where he and Superintendent Jean Bourne designed a modern learning environment. After developing innovative, flexible learning spaces, the staff pushed back, wanting traditional "20 by 20 classrooms."
In that crucial moment, Bob had to choose: tell the superintendent what her staff wanted to hear, or hold true to the vision they'd created together.
"I said, 'Jean, if we do what they want to do, you are going to end up with a legacy school that will be inflexible for the future. You are not going to have the breakout spaces that you want and that we talked about.'"
Jean responded, "I'm glad you said that because we can't do what they want to do. We need to be futuristic in thinking. We need to be innovative in the way we're designing and teaching our students."
The result? A school built around "the river"—a metaphorical circulation space representing how the river connects the Sheboygan Falls community. Instead of a giant cafeteria, they created flowing spaces for eating, meeting, and learning woven throughout the building.
Parents now tell Bob: "My kid comes home from school. They love being here. They don't want to leave."
Bob's story reveals something crucial about authentic leadership: it's not about being extraordinary. It's about being courageously ordinary—bringing your genuine values, care for others, and willingness to do what's right into every interaction.
"Having the courage to step into the space to ensure that people do what they need to do for themselves, to hold them accountable to their visions and help them grow, is one of the best burdens of being a leader."
Bob's approach works because it's replicable. You don't need charisma or a corner office. You need clarity about who you are, genuine care for others, and the courage to speak truth when it matters most.
Bob's leadership principles aren't complex, but they are profound:
Define yourself first. Understand your values, beliefs, and moral compass before trying to lead others.
Lead from who you are. Don't manage by someone else's playbook—manage from your authentic self.
Care genuinely. Not because it creates loyalty, but because people deserve to be seen and supported.
Get comfortable with mess. Innovation requires experimentation, and experimentation requires accepting that some things won't work perfectly the first time.
Have courage in crucial moments. When it matters most, choose what's right over what's easy.
The beautiful truth about Bob Vigert is that he proves extraordinary leadership comes from ordinary people who commit to being authentically, courageously themselves. His buildings will stand for generations, but his real legacy lives in the people he's influenced to lead from their own authentic center.
As Bob says, the impact we have goes "larger than life"—like a drop in a pond, creating ripples that reach shorelines we'll never see. The question isn't whether you'll create ripples. The question is what kind of drop you'll choose to be.